Then the tingle turns into cause for concern. It's ok, though, at least it doesn't smell like swamp ass. Minty, but more like Colgate than Mint Julep. Since I'm not sure that I can get my eyeball out to rinse it off in the sink without calling an ambulance, avoidance is the best policy here. So I spread the goop on, careful not to get it in my eyes because the bottle says, if I do, I will have to rinse my eye thoroughly with cool tap water. What does that mean? Should I have a thin layer or should I go get a spatula? I decided somewhere in the middle was ok with me. The bottle tells me to " Apply Mint Julep mask generously." Ok. Jeffie likes apples.) So I head back to the bathroom and try to read the instructions with a handful of baby poop because, yeah, I know. Like short bus special, but without the helmet. "Julie? JULIE!!!! Is this stuff supposed to look like this?" She gave an encouraging answer, though she likely thinks I'm teched. I was horrified, so I took my handful of green nastiness and went running down the hall with it. It literally looked like guacamole toothpaste, or a really nasty baby diaper. What came out of that tube looked nothing short of disgusting. Now, with a clean face, I proceeded to the next step - squirting the goop out of the tube.
The tube didn't tell me if I was supposed to dry my face or not, so I did anyway, just to be contrary. Following directions was never my strong suit. But, why do I have to wash my neck, too? I don't have big pores on my neck. Normally, I'd just open the stuff and put it on, but I decided to read the directions first. So I gathered up all my stuff and headed into the bathroom. Since I had to shower anyway, I decided to go ahead and try it. I was not prepared for this.Īs I said, I got the stuff this morning. Now, I have previously used facial masks that peeled off kind of like Elmer's Glue when I put it all over my hands and let it dry as a kid. Of course I forgot to buy some at Walmart, because that's how I roll, so I ordered some online and it came in today. I wigged out and my roommate told me to get this stuff called Queen Helen's Mint Julep Mask because it would reduce my pores. The other day, I happened to be close to a mirror and saw PORES. It involves an intense fear of clusters of holes. To set up this story, I must tell you that I have an unofficial phobia called trypophobia. My train has derailed already and I've barely left the station. Retinol sounds like something you use to poke people's eyes out with. I don't understand words like clarifying, humectant and pH balances in relation to beauty products. I've already covered that I'm a tomboy and I don't know much about beauty products.
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